Wrecked
by crystaljoygmagic
Summary: How could I possibly have liked this man, EVER? Even for a few hours, he couldn't possibly go without drinking and pissing himself silly. Not to mention his lack of ever holding a job for more than two months, and now... Rae x Finn guys. My Mad Fat Diary is one amazing show that deserves so many more fanfics don't you think? This is written after ep 5.


Wrecked (Disclaimer : Characters and show not mine) Also, guys I'm not sure if I should keep it a one shot or continue on with this story so please do let me know :)

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At 31, Rachel felt like a complete nutter. _How could I possibly have liked this man, EVER? _Even for a few hours, he couldn't possibly go without drinking and pissing himself silly. Not to mention his lack of ever holding a job for more than two months, his stupid pieces of body hair all over the washroom that _I _have to clean, and now... Well the bloody lip wasn't going to clean itself.

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**_Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you_**

Living in Northamptonshire had its perks. And getting a job here was a lot easier. Job, work, cleaning. _Bullocks! Can I sound any more like me mum! I suppose ... having a daughter changes things. _At 10, Aurea was nearing her question-everything-in-sight stage. And buy shitloads of gadgets for her super spy/NASA agency for children under 11, and imaginary. Smiling to herself, even with her over active fantasy land, Rachel couldn't have survived without her. Her mistake. Her biggest mistake is her one and only lifeline now.

And that's why holding two shit minimum wage payin' jobs wasn't so bad. Because Rachel _needed_ to give lovely Aurea everything, everything besides a loving father. _Why do I even bother staying with him! He just shows up after weeks and wastes my groceries._

Cleaning out the living room, checking to make sure Aurea was up in bed reading while Darrin slept in on the couch with the TV turned high up; Rachel made her way out for her daily twenty-minute walk outside. To the one place that made everything better, made dealing with Darrin's moods and her bosses snarks all the better. Because this was Lincolnshire. Well, as close to Lincolnshire as this town can get. It wasn't a pub, the pubs here were all highly sophisticated. And it wasn't the park either. No, just the one street had houses shaped exactly like hers back home. Even one of the neighbours looked like her ex-74 year old one from when she was 16. Never would Rachel have thought she'd miss that dump. This was her escape, her twenty-minute escape and she'd be damned not to take it.

Today wasn't any different from any other day, actually. It was exactly the same. Darrin came home from a day of "searching jobs" reeking of alcohol, and went straight after Aurea, yelling at her to grow the fuck up and stop living in her fantasy land. "Rachel, be a real mummy and get this mad child a fuckin' textbook or something to read. I am sick and tired of tryna support her."

Aurea wasn't like Rachel. Sure she looked exactly like the child photocopy of her, but in personality, no. Aurea was afraid of everything; people, animals, her father. Not her mummy though, her mummy saved her. _Like Marilla Cuthbert saving Anne, mummy saved me from everything_. But she was trying, trying really hard to be just like her mummy. Before, when her father started yelling at her, she'd run behind her mum, yelling into her pants "Make him go away please I'll do better!" Nowadays, Aurea was getting smarter, keeping her mouth shut for as long as she can until she found her escape.

"Ya need ta stop protecting her from the world Rachel. I want her outta this house as soon as possible, and I want her to get a job soon as she's 15 right." Darrin broke her last nerve as she saw Aurea run up the stairs with her library copy of Anne of the Green Gables.

"When have you EVER supported Aurea and I , Darrin?", hissed Rachel. "The only mad person I see here is you, rotting away then apologizing every morning. No more Darrin, ya better straighten the fuck up before tryna blame other people for your shitass life!"

A grunt was all she heard before Rachel was sent backwards into the sofa. _Shit, didn't even see him get up. _"You bloody listen to me, bitch. Yer my wife and that's my child up there. And I'm gonna treat ya both however the fuck I want." Yanking on her hair, Darrin yelled at her face, "When you and Aurea deserve my compliments, I'll give it. And when ya don't, you'll get this YA HEAR."

_Why_ _do I stay with him!_ Walking along Oglesby Street, Rachel plugged in her ears. I know why, because he saves me. In the mornings, when she feels most like hurting herself. He's sober, and he's there. And she'd never cut when he's around so she lets him stay. Lets him emotionally abuse Aurea and herself. She knew it was wrong, staying with someone like him. But she couldn't come undone in front of Aurea, and no way was she able to pay for help. This was free, well-touching her lips-no monetary fee at least.

**_Backbeat the word was on the street that the fire in your heart is out_**

So today really wasn't any different from any other day.

"Rae?"

One word.

One sound.

One voice.

Eyes bulging out, she looked up to see the face of a stranger. But, he wasn't. His voice hasn't changed. And his eyes, they're still the same broody eyes. He was no stranger.

Rachel wasn't the only one stunned. Finn had a hard time trying to keep from his jacket falling from his hands. She looked exactly the same, her face, her hands, his Rae Rae. His head wasn't thinking but he was thinking so much all at once. Rachel.

" No more band shirts, I see."

_What did he say_! Rachel was still looking at him like she'd seen a bloody tree dancing with hula hoops, no attention to what that beautiful pout was uttering away. "Um yeah? What, what are ya doin' here?" "Job interview." A small smile crept up on Rachel's face, "Still a man of few words, huh Finn?"

"S'posse. Didn't really find someone I like talking to for a while." Finn had his smirk on, just the same as so many years ago. But it was gone in the second he remembered.

"Why'd you leave Rae? You didn't tell anyone, didn't even give _me_ a chance." He could've yelled, could've even walked off angrily. But he had to pull that look, completely broken. She'd seen it once on him, and all the time in Aurea. And Tix.

_I told Tix._ With bags all packed and waiting in the cab, she had made a stop for Tix because she would lose it if she didn't know what happened to Rae. So Rae told her, and Tix let her go. With a broken smile, she kept the secret all the years.

"I have to go, Finn. It was nice seeing ya, good luck on your you know. And everything. Bye." Speeding away, not knowing if Finn even understood what she said, Rachel was set on getting back to Aurea before Darrin got back up. And she had to get back to Aurea before Finn asked questions even worse than that, like...

"No way, I deserve an answer after so long. Why didn't you tell me you were sick Rae?" There. That question.

"Please, Finn. I don't, I dunno! I can't do this. I...I really do have to go." "What, where could you possibly have to go but home at this time Rae and that can bloody wait. Stop trying to escape all the time" _And let __**me**__ in_!

"I have to go back to my family, Finn!"

Stopping in his steps, Finn stared after her. Family. Of course, who wouldn't want to be with sweet Rae. He was so caught up in the past he forgot about now, they weren't teenagers anymore. Of course, she has a family.

_I bet he has a fit wife back in Lincolnshire. Probably Chloe. And friends, while I, no I have Aurea. She's more than enough for me._

"Wait, I'll walk you home Rae." _Haven't used her names in so long, I can't even stop sayin' it. _Rachel knew he wouldn't give up, he never was one to and started walking along, praying Darrin wouldn't show up at the door when they got there. _Besides, I love hearing my name on his lips._

For a few minutes it was silent. He could've asked her so much. She should've asked about him, what he does for a living, was he a complete bore like her now. But they were both living in the past, each memory coming shooting back. She wouldn't talk about why she left, no she'd never tell him how hurt she was when Chloe and Finn decided to get together after reading her diary. _Bet he still thinks I'm a mental case._

"So, how's the gang?" Rachel didn't want to know if Chloe and Finn were together, happily with three kids in their pool house. She didn't want to know how peaceful his life was, even with that broody expression. _He's just missing Chloe, I s'pose._

Finn looked up and frowned. "Dunno, we sort of grew apart few months after you left." Feeling guilty for making her feel bad, he added, "but I still keep in touch, with email or whatever. Chop and Izzy got together, right after Izzy finished college."

Rachel burst into a grin, "Really! Oh I'm so happy Finn! I knew they'd get outta the friendzone. Surprised he waited so long though, Chop." Finn couldn't help but smile back, she looked just like Rae from back when. "He wanted to ask before, ya know but he wanted to own that garage he worked at before getting on with Izzy. Mind you, she never cared but Chop wanted her to finish her degree and him to be his own boss. Wanna know about Archie, you'll be jumping up and down when you hear!"

**_And all the roads we have to walk are winding and all the lights that lead us there are blinding_**

They were a few minutes away from home, but Rachel never wanted this to end. Forgetting everything, walking along with Finn in the night. "So Archie works for National Geographic, in Washington?! I knew that bloke'd make it! And who has the heartbreaker been seeing last time you talked?" Rachel was waiting to hear Archie had come out, that everyone still loved him, and he was living with a fit boy and doing what he loves.

"Well that's just it. I sent him pics with me Chop and Izzy but he only sends of himself. Said he doesn't have time for girls or something." That was not what she was expecting, Finn _still _doesn't know? And if Archie's best mate doesn't, then he never told anyone. _Oh Archie, I'm so sorry._ He deserved to be the happiest; he deserved it more than anyone. "And, um, what about Chloe?"

Finn looked at her then in the street light, and was about to answer when he saw something he never wanted to see on anyone. Especially Rae. "The fuck happened to your mouth Rae! Who did this?" He went closer to touch her face but she stepped back, eyes distant, voice quiet. "Oh nothing Finn, just hit myself with a wooden spoon accidentally. You know how klutzy I am." That sounded lame as soon as it was out of her mouth, she knew but still hoped Finn bought it. "No Rae, you were never a klutz. Tell me Rae, at least tell me this."

Her walk with Finn was over, and so was her walk with the past. Standing right in front of her door, Rachel let out a relieved sigh when she saw Darrin still asleep on the couch. Finn looked towards the house and grimaced, "Oh no. Not you, it was him wasn't it Rae. It was...why Rae?" No sense at all, his words were just coming out but making no sense at all. _Bloody mess_, he'd want her with a family and caring husband than with someone like that. He pieced it together as soon as he saw the slob on the couch with a bottle in his hand and two empty ones on his belly.

She wouldn't look at him. Still trying to find something to say before she could escape. "Rae I'm up here, not on your feet. LOOK at me. How long Rae?" "Few months." A quiet lie, Finn knew she wasn't a klutz but he also knew her tendency of lying like shit. Raising his eyebrows, he asked clearly, no hesitation, "Come away with me."

Rachel gaped at him. How many times did she imagine Finn coming to her in Northampshire asking just that. _Maybe, maybe this was a dream. Maybe Darrin hit me on the head instead and a little too hard at that. _Finn took Rachel's face in his hands, traced the dry blood on her lips. "Please Rae. I want to plummet that sorry excuse of a fuckhead in there, just tell me you'll come." He stared at her, pleading with his words and eyes that she'd say yes, that they can start over, maybe even get the gang together. "I can't Finn, please ... just go."

"No way, I'm not leaving you here with that piss ass without at least a decent reason." "Ya wanna know WHY Finn! Hell, Because of Aurea. Because maybe one day this slob will look at my baby girl and realize his mistakes! Be the father she NEEDS, it's the one thing I CAN'T give her and it's all she wants. And don't you tell me to stop fantasizing because that's all I got. I need to believe he'll get better! I CAN'T just up and leave Finn because I need him too..." She broke off, pushing his hands off and trying to control her trembling voice. "I left because you all found out I was broken, and none of you cared. No, I'm not saying Darrin cares for me, but at least when he's sober he stops me from hurting myself. Hurting myself with Auera around. I can't break in front of her again, Finn. She can NEVER see her mummy in that state. So just, just go Finn."

A daughter, she has a daughter. Finn could see now, in the upper floor window. A little light in a pink walled room with toys lined up on one wall. He couldn't fathom how that man was treating them, seeing Rachel gave him all the idea he needed. "Rae, listen to me, how could you possibly think no one cared? How could you think _I_ didn't? I went out of my mind when Chloe told me about your diary. I didn't bloody read it Rae, I only know and believed Chloe about your illness and that's it because of the tag she showed me. After that, I was coming to you. Yeah I wanted to yell at you, for not telling me, but not because I wanted to take a piss at you. Rae, you don't need that dumbshit in there, I'll help you. Come with me and I'll...I'll take care of you and Aurea _will_ be happy. She doesn't need a father like that, and bullocks he'll get better!" Rachel couldn't stop the tears now. She was wrong. All along, Finn did care. That's it, isn't that all she ever wanted? "But, what about you and Chloe? I saw you and her smooching away at the pub. "

"I was mad at you Rae. For not telling me, not trusting me when I did with you. I know it was childish but, I wanted to make you jealous and who better than Chloe." "Well you can't blame me then for not talking to ya. You two looked like you were laughing straight at ma face!", snapped Rachel. "I never did that Rae, we barely even talked. I said it was childish of me! You two were always competing it up, even Chop knew. And you and Archie together _all_ the time, forget it...But Rae," Finn was closing the distance again; "Chloe isn't you. No one is. I never found anyone better than you. And I'm sorry Rae. For everything and nothing and for that bastard you ended up with! But I want to make it up, let me just make it all up!" Finn looked as desperate as Rachel's ever seen him. "You'd like Aurea, she's like you in a way. So quiet but always up to something in her head." Rachel teased him while pulling his hair from his face. "Bet she looks just like you though, Rae." When Rachel nodded, Finn continued, "And I want nothing there of that brute in Aurea. This'll be good for her Rae, I _promise_ you."

"But I don't even know where to start Finn. I'd have to..." "Doesn't matter, Rae. None of that matters, _just let me in_!"

A small smile was all it took to light her whole face up. A small chuckle was all it took to know he understood her answer. Biting his lip, he asked, "So, punch his teeth straight out, or a boots right up his arse?"

**_Because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me_**

**_and after all you're my wonderwall_**

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Okay, woah so I have NEVER written fanfiction in my life. Clearly, this show has gotten me so obsessed I actually attempted at making one.

But anyways guys, please let me know what you think (don't be too mean I'm a virgin writer here!) and Rae x Finn for life! I am on tumblr so ask for it if you'd like and Monday's going to be dreadful isn't it :(

P.S. Song is Wonderwall by Oasis (not mine) which is porbably the first song I think of when it comes to Rae and Finn


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